Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
