i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i used baking grease as lip gloss
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
