I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Randomize
