Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
