Screwed.edu
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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