So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize