Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
