first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
