Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
