She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
