Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
