omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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