I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize