I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
