HIV tests are more positive than that guy
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
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