Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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