His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
