Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
is wine microwaveable?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
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It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
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That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
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