My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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