Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
