her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize