i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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