so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
