New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
His nipple licking is glorious
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