It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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