i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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