Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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