Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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