Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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