At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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