we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
