Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
this will be a night to untag.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
