Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
