I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
