i think i have two assholes
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
