Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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