I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
