If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I can tuck mytits in my pants
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
