Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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