HIV tests are more positive than that guy
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize