id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
