Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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