why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
