so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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