i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
