I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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