Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
This house was built for laser tag.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize