Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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