i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
