Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
