Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
