well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
