okay pat passed out under dana's car
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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