a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
