I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
