Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
