"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
