the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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