ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize