I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
