I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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