That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize