I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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