clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
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I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
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With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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