We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
