I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
