I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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