I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
