I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
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