i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
time to smoke my breakfast
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
