She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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