I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize
