just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
